Blue Eyes
by charmedrocks33
Summary: "Two more months," Her long fingers gripped the black wheel tighter as her head rested back on the seat. "And I'll be free of Rosewood, of my parents and of those blue eyes." Little did Spencer Hastings know how very wrong she was. (AU story setting.)
1. Chapter 1

**I haven't the slightly clue as to what is wrong with me because there is no reason I should be starting something new when I have two others to finish! This idea came to me the other night at work and has been bugging me ever since, so I had no choice but to write something to calm my mind. **

**No worries guys, I will not be posting another chapter to any other story until I finish 'Nobody's Home'. I am still working on the last chapter, it is taking me longer to write out than I first thought but you guys will love it. (I hope)**

**This is an AU about Spencer Hastings. It will be set around the end of their senior year and go forward from there. Time jumps will happen randomly. No -A or Allison is present in this story. I don't want to say much more, so yeah, leave your thoughts in a review. Remember I take good and bad comments so feel free to be honest with me. Thanks. **

* * *

Walking down the long hallway of the high school, Spencer Hastings did her best to dodge classmates as they hurried along to their destined classes. Normally she would be right with them, rushing to switch out her books before practically sprinting to the other end of the large building to claim her seat before the sound of the bell.

Today however, Spencer was still making her way to her locker when the bell sounded off from above her head. When the ringing silenced, she reached up to the small button that was located on the wire of her headphones and raised the volume just a tad higher.

It was easy to block out the world on a day like today.

Stopping in front of her locker, she raised her right hand and effortlessly spun in her combination. With a flick of her pointer finger, the latch lifted and her locker popped opened.

Using her left hand, she lifted the strap of her side bag over her head and let it drop to the floor with a thud.

Looking inside her locker a pain rippled within her chest. Most girls had their space loaded with photos of friends or boy friends, mirrors, magazines, tubes of lipsticks and even color ranges of different nail polishes.

"Plain." The word slipped softly from her chapped lips as she eyed the content of her locker. On the small door, she had a small calendar that consisted of school projects, after-school clubs, field hockey practice and dinner with her parents. Inside the space she let her hand trace the bindings of her AP textbooks, the couple of notebooks and a binder, all standing in a perfect row waiting to be picked up and placed into her bag.

Suddenly the thought of sitting in her English class while listening to Mr. Fitz drag on and on about another dead writer made the pain in her chest spark again.

Closing her eyes, she tried her best to push the thoughts away. She knew the pain she was feeling had nothing to do with Mr. Fitz's class but rather who was in that class.

Before she could really think about what to do next, her locker slammed shut and her hand was already reaching down to grab her side bag from the floor. Her feet had begun to walk quickly down the hall towards the exit and when the warm spring air hit her face, the pain in her chest started to fade away.

As she made her way to her SUV a buzzing came from her phone as well as a ding in her ear buds. Without stopping, she pulled the IPhone from her jean pocket and frowned at the message that waited for her.

_'Spencer, where are you? Ezra looks pissed that you ditched his class. We had a surprise quiz but I'm sure if you have a good enough reason for ditching, he will let you make it up.' _

The message was from Aria.

With a snort and an eye roll, Spencer deleted the message just as she got to the SUV. Digging around in her side bag, she located her keys and entered the vehicle.

"Can't wait to hear how much more of a disappointment I am after they find out about this now." She muttered under her breath as the SUV roared to life. Pulling out the buds from her ears, she switched on the radio in its place and backed out of her parking space.

At 18 years old, a senior in high school, one would think that everything in that person's life would be right on track. Graduating with friends, getting college acceptance letters in the mail, planning the entire summer one last time before everyone splits in different directions.

_Oh how wrong they all were._

"Two more months," Her long fingers gripped the black wheel tighter as her head rested back on the seat. "And I'll be free of Rosewood, of my parents and of those blue eyes."

_Oh how wrong she was._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey everyone. Thank you to those who have read, reviewed, followed and fav'ed this story. **

**To the reviewer 'Max', I couldn't message you since you didn't sign in, but to answer your question. Spencer is only tagged because of how I have the story laid out and I didn't feel comfortable pairing her off with just one person. I don't want to say more because those answers will come out as the story goes on. (Just to clear something up real quick, Wren WILL NOT make any appearance in this story! This will be the only time you actually see his name.****)**

**Also to those wondering about blue eyes, yes, there are a few characters in PLL with blue eyes, so with that being said, please keep an open mind as you read from here on out. :)**

**As always, enjoy the read and please leave a review, good or bad, to let me know how I'm doing with the updates, or leaving your thoughts on what might happen. **

**Thanks guys! :)**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

It was past 8pm when Spencer drove her SUV into the empty Hastings driveway. "That explains a lot." She muttered under her breath as she turned off the engine while switching off the headlights. Reaching over to the passenger seat, she grabbed her side bag and exited the car.

She wondered where her dear old parents had gone off to this time. _Meeting with new clients or spending the weekend with Melissa in Philly?_

Entering through the side door into the kitchen, she found her answer on a single post-it note that they left on the counter next to a few twenty-dollar bills.

"Spencer, we will both be gone for the weekend. Your father had a last minute business trip in NYC and I will be in Philly with your sister helping with Taylor. We left you some money for take-out. Be back on Monday. Love mom." She read aloud rolling her eyes as soon as she finished and placed the note back down on the counter.

"Well, looks like I'll have that relaxing weekend after all." She said as she started to make her way towards the staircase. Taking the stairs two at a time, she quickly rushed to her room, tossing her side bag onto her bed and headed to her adjoined bathroom.

Walking over to her shower, she pulled open the glass door, reached inside and turned on the water. Stepping back, she closed the door and began to undress, entering the shower a few seconds later.

Standing under the hot spray, Spencer closed her eyes, letting her whole body relax as the water washed away the day's misfortunes.

After leaving the school parking lot, she drove herself to the park and spent the rest of the afternoon unplugged from the world. Hours later when she had gotten back to her SUV, her phone was blinking with messages and voice-mails.

All of them from her concerned friends wondering why she ditched school without as much as a text message to let them know. Once again, Spencer deleted each message, not ready to inform her friends of the troubles she had been dealing with for the last few months.

Keeping them in the dark was never the plan. Every morning she would wake up with the intention of explaining it all but the second she saw their smiling faces, the confidence that she started with would melt away to be quickly replaced by her Hastings pride that weakness, in any form would not be acceptable.

Shaking the thoughts from her mind, Spencer reached her hand out to grab her shampoo bottle from the side shelf and after applying a small amount onto her palm, began working the liquid into her long brown hair. As she tilted her head under the hot spray of water, her phone started to ring from her pile of clothes that she had left on the bathroom floor.

"Go away." She muttered, not attempting to answer the device.

The ringing stopped a few seconds later and she was about to let out a sigh of relief when another wave of music filled the room.

Letting out a groan, she switched off the water, pushed open the glass door and took the few steps to her phone, quickly declining the call before turning it off completely. Dropping the phone back on her pile of clothes, she grabbed a towel from under the sink and wrapped it around her body while making her way out of the bathroom.

"You know, it's rather rude to ignore someone's phone calls."

The sudden sound of a voice in her room caused her to jump back into her door frame with a yelp. "Jesus Hanna! What the hell are you doing here?" She asked once she recovered from the shock of seeing her best friend just sitting on her bed with a smirk on her face and a magazine on her lap.

The smirk quickly fell from her lips, the magazine pushed off her lap and suddenly Hanna was standing at the foot of the Spencer's bed. "You skipped school today, why?" Her tone had a bit of attitude laced into the words.

"I needed a break, so I took one." Spencer answered while gripping the top of her towel a little tighter as she made her way towards her dresser. With her back fully to Hanna, she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath that she slowly let out before opening one of the drawers to gather a new set of undergarments and clothes.

"So was ignoring all our phone calls and texts part of your break too?"

"Well seeing how I didn't return any of them, what do you think?" Spencer slammed the drawer closed harder than necessary as she spoke before turning around to face her friend. "Look Hanna, I appreciate you coming over here to check on me but if the only reason you came over here was to play twenty questions, than you can just leave because I'm not in the mood for it tonight."

Hanna took a step back into the bed frame as the look of surprise and hurt both flashed across her face and without waiting to hear Hanna's response, Spencer all but ran back to the bathroom with her right arm hugging her change of clothes tightly to her chest.

With the door shut and locked behind her, Spencer closed her eyes again, instantly Hanna's face popped into her mind. The same emotions from before staring her down but all Spencer found herself focusing on were those blue eyes.

Seeing how much pain her words caused Hanna, she had to bite her own lip to keep her tears from falling. _You did nothing wrong,_ She thought. _Do not cry._

Refusing to let the situation get the better of her, she dropped the towel from her body and silently began to redress herself. As she pulled her tank top over her head, she wondered if Hanna had indeed left the house. _How could she not after how I treated her, I was a total asshole._ She thought as picked up her pile of clothes discarded from earlier and made her way back to the door.

Twisting the handle slowly, a click sounded and after taking a few more seconds to steady her breathing, Spencer opened the door to see if anyone was waiting for her on the other side.

* * *

**A/N added 7-29-14: I have tagged two other characters along with Spencer. I really don't want to say much more so yeah, hope to hear from you all after my next update. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

_Empty._

Spencer stood in the bathroom doorway surprised, her mouth hung open slightly as she took in the still surroundings of her room. "She really left," She whispered softly. "I can't believe she really left."

Walking farther into her room, she dropped her pile of clothes on the bed and sat down in the exact spot that Hanna had occupied only minutes ago. The discarded magazine lay a few inches away, still open to the last page that she had been reading.

_Hanna had come over here as a friend,_ Spencer thought as her fingers traced one of the pages. _And of course, I had to be a jerk and push her away because I'm too scared to let anyone in to help me._

Letting her head press back against the frame, she let her eyes wander around her room. Medals, ribbons, trophies and awards lined the wall next to her window, all of them another sign of her perfect Hastings persona.

Without giving it a second thought, Spencer pushed herself off the bed and walked straight over to her closet. After a few seconds of digging, she pulled out a plastic container, lifted off the lid and dumped all the neatly folded clothes to the floor.

It only took minutes for her perfect world to disappear. Every medal, ribbon, trophy and award now lay hidden inside the tote back in the darkness of her closet. Before closing the doors, her eyes fell upon the dresses, skirts and blouses and other articles of clothing that made up who she was to the world.

_Who am I?_ She thought while pulling one of her blouses off the hanger and walked over to her full-length mirror, holding the item up to her chest.

"The ideal imagine of a Hastings daughter." She said with a forced smile as she moved some of her still-slightly damp hair out of her eyes. "Perfect looks to go along with the perfect car that you got from having perfect grades, and now all you need to do is find the perfect boy friend to make the circle complete."

_Perfect_

The word repeatedly sounded in her mind as her stomach turned and knotted with a sudden sickness. The blouse slipped from her hands, her knees buckled down to the hard ground and her eyes filled with a flow of tears.

Wrapping her arms tightly around her own body, she cried.

She cried for herself, for her friends, hell, she even cried for her parents and sister.

The world of perfect was a place that Spencer no longer felt she belonged.

She was broken, lost and most of all…"Fake." She whispered the word with a sob. "All I am is a fake, a coward, too afraid to tell my friends and family the truth."

Getting up from the floor, Spencer slowly walked the few steps over to her bed, tossed the magazine behind her and collapsed onto her sheets, hugging one of her pillows to her chest.

Burying her face into the pillow, a strong scent of perfume reached her nose. Instantly recognizing it as Hanna's, she clutched the pillow tighter into her body as more tears fell from her eyes.

* * *

For the next half hour, she allowed her weakness to take over her body. She allowed herself a chance to cry, a chance to understand, a chance to plan and a chance to relapse back to tears.

After every plan, a picture appeared in her mind. The disappointing faces from her friends, the mean words from her parents and the sickening smirk from her sister as the truth thickened the air around them. No matter what she said, or how much she apologized, the ending never changed.

Wrapped up in her thoughts, she failed to hear the soft knock at her door, or the sound of footsteps crossing her room towards her bed but upon feeling the mattress shift behind her, she froze, but for only a moment, relaxing when her nose caught the scent of Hanna's perfume.

There was no exchanging of words between the two girls; it wasn't required when two people had such a strong connection as they did.

It took less than a second for Spencer to feel Hanna scoot herself closer, instantly wrapping her arm around Spencer's body, hugging her from behind.

At the gesture, an odd feeling swept over Spencer, she couldn't place her finger on exactly what it was, but she was certain that it made her feel good; safe almost.

A few more minutes in silence passed before Hanna spoke. "It's going to be okay."

Although spoken softly, Spencer heard them loud and clear and she was torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry. For so long she wished to hear those words and now that she had, she didn't know what to do with them, she didn't know how to believe them.

"How can you be so sure?" She questioned, her raspy voice sounding low and weak from all the crying.

Hanna's arm tightened around Spencer's thin frame as she rested her head directly behind Spencer's to the point that her forehead was touching the brunette's skull.

"I'm not," She voiced out with a small sigh. "But I am sure that I will always be here for you Spence, no matter what is going on in either of our lives and I will always be around for you."

Spencer sensed the hesitation at the end of Hanna's sentence, the sadness that lingered in her voice, she knew whatever the blonde was about to say next was not going to be easy.

"Just please Spence," Hanna's voice was beginning to crack, a clear sign that tears were not too far behind. "Don't push me away again."

At Hanna's words, Spencer felt her chest tighten as a new batch of tears made their way down her face. She wanted to tell Hanna the truth, let her know about everything that she kept bottled up inside for the last few months but when she opened her mouth to speak, the words she wanted to say just seem to disappear.

"I won't." Spencer said instead while silently cursing herself for letting the Hastings pride get the better of her once more. "And I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier, I-"

"Hey," Hanna cut in softy. "You have nothing to be sorry for alright? I totally jumped all over you and that was unfair of me." She paused for a moment to prop her free arm on the pillow as she rested her head on her palm, giving her a better view of Spencer's face. "You really had us worried about you Spence. It's not like you to skip school, at least not without telling one of us first. Where did you go all afternoon?"

"The park," She said while her fingers found the charm bracelet on Hanna's wrist and slowly spun it around to feel each charm. "Do you remember that old swing-set, the one that we used to play on as kids?"

"Of course I do," She said with a smile. "We all had a ton of fun on that swing-set, well, until you and Emily decided it would be fun to have a jumping competition and you ended up breaking your arm because you jumped off way too high trying to be a show off."

"Yeah well," Spencer let out a small chuckle. "It was worth it, I beat Emily by a few yards."

Hanna smiled. "God, I can't believe you remember how much you beat her by, you are such a nerd." The two girls shared a laugh. "But kidding aside," She started as the laughter faded away. "Why did you choose that spot?"

"Honestly?"

"Please."

"I wanted to feel like a kid again."

"Spence.."

"I know," Spencer interjected quickly, cutting Hanna off. "It's stupid to want something that impossible," She said while sitting up and moving so there was now distance between the two of them. "But I do Han; every day I wake up and realize that I'm another day closer to becoming an adult in the real world. Every day that I'm sitting in class and stuck listening to our teachers drone on and on about events, names, dates and places that hold absolutely no meaning for me outside of their classroom; it makes me want to go back."

"I can't even concentrate during field hockey anymore," She continued. "My coach told me a few weeks ago that some scouts would be stopping by to watch a couple of our games, more specifically, to watch me; and ever since she told me, I've been playing like an idiot. I've missed goals and passes, I can't keep the ball in my control longer than a few steps before someone steals it away; it's like I've gone back to being a freshman who has never played the game before."

Hanna sat quietly, watching as her friend paused to wipe away a few fallen tears that slipped out during her rant. Without saying a word, she moved closer to Spencer, took one of her hands and gave it a small squeeze.

The gesture was enough to make Spencer crack a small smile before she spoke again. "I go to the park, I sit down on one of the old swings and I wait. I wait for.." Her sentence trailing off as she ducked her head to hide the rest of the tears that refused to stay locked away.

"For what Spence," Hanna asked softly as she reached up to wipe away the tears from Spencer's cheek. "What do you wait for?"

"Myself."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

Without missing a beat, Hanna moved her hand under Spencer's chin and gently raised her head until brown locked with blue. "You're here Spence."

A fluttering feeling rushed through her gut, but she quickly shook off the feeling without much thought.

"Am I?" She questioned with a whisper, pulling her head away from Hanna's touch. "Because I don't feel like I am Hanna." Spencer moved off the bed and began to pace. "The Spencer Hastings from that park all those years ago and the Spencer Hastings in this room right now are two very different people."

Hanna shifted on the bed so her legs now hung off the edge and mocked a shocked expression. "Wait, you mean to tell me that the nerdy know it all that I used to hang out with all those years ago isn't the same girl who is standing in front of me right now?"

Spencer cracked a small smile as she half rolled her eyes. "Hanna, this isn't funny, I'm being serious."

"So am I!" She laughed and hopped off the bed to pull her friend into a hug. "Look, all kidding aside I understand how you're feeling Spence." Hanna leaned back from the embrace just slightly. "And I can honestly tell you that you are not the only one who is feeling this way, I'm pretty sure we all are but none of us are brave enough to admit it."

Spencer opened her mouth to counter the blonde's statement but instead nodded her head in agreement to save herself the trouble of having to explain the inner workings of her mind.

Hanna displayed one more big smile as she pulled Spencer back in for a hug. "We are all here for you Spence."

"Thanks Han."

The girls broke apart a few seconds later. "Are you hungry?" Hanna asked while taking a step back towards the doorway.

As on cue, a low growl emitted from Spencer's stomach causing both girls to laugh. "Starving, I haven't had anything since lunch."

"I thought as much, c'mon I got a surprise downstairs for you." Hanna said with a smile before disappearing from the room.

"You know I hate surprises!" Spencer called after her, still holding her spot. When she got no response from Hanna, she let out a small huff before exiting her room and making her way downstairs.

Stepping to the lower landing of the stairs, she turned her head to face her living room and had to grip the railing just a tad harder as she looked at the scene below her.

Hanna, as well as Aria and Emily, were sitting on her couch surrounded by different containers of food from all their favorite places.

"Surprise." Hanna said with a huge grin as she shifted over on the couch and patted the open spot next to her. "Now hurry your ass down here so we can eat!"

Spencer took a few extra seconds to watch as her friends began passing around plates and share a laugh before she walked down the remaining steps.

"I can't believe you guys put this all together." She remarked with a smile as she took the plate of food that Aria held out for her.

"Hanna really put it together," Emily said popped a piece of chicken into her mouth. "Aria and I just picked up the food."

Hanna quickly shrugged. "No need to make a big deal out of it. You actually gave us an excuse to get together for a sleep over, so really, you should be thanking yourself."

Spencer let out a small chuckle. "Well, whatever the true reason for this get together, thank you for thinking of it."

"You're welcome." Hanna said flashing a big smile. "Now, are we ready to get this sleep over started or what?" She asked as she reached behind the couch, pulling up one bottle of vodka and another of rum.

The other three girls let out a loud cheer as they each held out their cups for their blonde friend to fill. "Where did you score the bottles Han?" Emily asked as she took a small sip from her cup.

"Caleb." She said as she took a huge gulp from her own cup before quickly adding more vodka into it. "So whose turn is it to pick the movie?"

"Mine." Aria said jumping up from the couch and hurried her way to the stack of DVDs that sat on the floor in front of the TV. "Anyone have a request?" She asked.

"No chick-flicks." Hanna called out.

"Second that." Spencer chimed in with a raise of her cup. "I vote for a comedy or horror film."

"I'm fine with either choice," Emily said as she leaned back against the cushion. "Surprise us Ar."

Aria picked up two different DVDs, quickly scanned over both before opening one and placing it into the player. With a smirk on her face, she raced back to the couch, hopping down with a bounce next to Emily.

"What did you pick?" Hanna asked as she watched Spencer use the remote to turn on the TV and set it to the right screen to watch the film.

"A comedy," She said while pulling her legs up underneath her body. "I figured we could all use some more laughter in our lives."

Emily and Hanna agreed with her while Spencer just shot back the rest of her drink in one gulp before reaching for one of the bottles for a refill.

"Easy there Spencer," Aria laughed. "We have all night, pace yourself."

Spencer let a small smile slip but never stopped her hand from pouring the alcohol into her cup. "I will."

She could feel Hanna's eyes on her, but she refused to give in and meet the blondes stare. She knew that second she did, her guilt from earlier would find a way into her mind and her plan of drinking her problems away most likely wouldn't happen.

"Good, now let's get this night started!" Reaching over to the side table, Aria flipped off the light switch before reaching over and grabbing the remote and pressing play.

After watching two movies and finishing off the two bottles that Hanna brought over, the girls decided it was time to head upstairs and get ready for bed.

Each of the girls took turns using Spencer's bathroom to change into their sleeping clothes before settling together on her bed.

Spencer pulled one of her pillows tight to her chest as she watched her three friends huddled together near the end of her bed laughing at an article in one of Hanna's magazines. With her buzz and confidence starting to wind down, she knew that now was the time to talk to her friends about her troubles. _Well, one of them at least._ She quickly thought.

Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath and gave herself a mental count down before speaking. "Guys, I need to tell you something really important." She said as she opened her eyes and watched as her friends quickly focus their attention in her direction.

"Is everything okay Spence?" Emily asked as she let the magazine fall from the bed to the floor.

Biting her lower lip, she shook her head slightly, telling herself not to cry. "I got rejection letters from all the schools I applied too."

In less than a second, Spencer had three pairs of arms wrapping her up in a group hug. "It's going to be okay Spence," Emily whispered. "We will all do everything we can to make sure you have a school that loves you before fall semester starts."

"Where? The Ivy league schools don't want me, what makes you think any other school will?" She questioned while pulling back from the group.

"You are Spencer Hastings," Hanna's soft voice said breaking the small lap of silence that fell over the girls. "Everyone wants you and if they don't to hell with them." She flashed a grin in Spencer's direction. "Tomorrow we can spend the day helping you fill out new applications." She added, earning nods from both Emily and Aria as well.

"I'm touched guys, I really am, but seriously you don't have to waste a Saturday helping me go through college forms."

"Well too bad Hastings." Aria said proudly, sporting a huge grin. "We are and tomorrow night, we are going out dancing. Emily and Paige were just telling me about this new club that opened in Philly; we should totally hit it up."

Emily started nodding her head in agreement until her mind caught up with her friend's words and she quickly changed to shaking her head. "Wait Aria, it's not the same kind of club that you think it is."

"Well, what kind of club is it?" Aria questioned with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh my god, it's a lesbian club!" Hanna shouted cutting off Emily with a clap of her hands and a smirk on her face. "We are so going to this club!"

"Uh, Hanna, in case you may have forgotten, you are not gay." Spencer said. "And neither are we." She added while pointing to Aria and herself.

"Like that makes a difference." She said with a wave of her hand. "Look, you need this Spence. So for one night; let loose, have some fun and just stop worrying."

"I hate to say this, but she has a point." Emily voiced and earned surprised looks from the other girls.

"Really Em, you are supposed to be against this." Spencer muttered as she hugged her pillow a bit tighter to her chest.

"And normally I would be but she is right, you need to get out and just relax Spence."

"Because going to a gay night club is such a great way to relax. What happens if some girl starts flirting with me or wants to dance or buy me a drink? What am I supposed to do then? I don't think I can pretend to be gay and lead some poor girl on thinking she has a chance."

"Okay, so what if I had a way that you wouldn't have to worry about other girls hitting on you, would you go?" Hanna asked.

"Depends, tell me what it is first."

Hanna let out a laugh. "Nope, agree or you will never know."

Spencer let out a deep sigh while rolling her eyes. "Fine, you win. I will still go to the night club no matter what crazy idea you have floating around in your head."

Aria and Emily giggled at the mocked hurt expression that crossed Hanna's face. "Just tell her Han, I really want to hear this plan before I pass out." Aria said as she moved off the bed and started walking to Spencer's closet grabbing the extra blankets and pillows for the floor.

"Okay, so my plan is, we all go together, this way no girl will be hitting on any of us."

"I don't get it," Spencer raised an eyebrow and looked over at Emily who was sporting the same look of confusion.

"And they say I'm blonde." Hanna muttered to herself with a small headshake. "We go as couples."

"Couples?"

"Yes, couples." Hanna smiled.

"Okay, and who exactly is paired with whom?" Spencer questioned.

"Oh, that's easy. Emily is with Aria and you are with me."

"Wait," Aria's voice cut in before Spencer or Emily had a chance to speak. "Why do you get to be with Spencer and not Emily or me?" She asked as she dropped the pillows to the floor and moved back towards the bed.

"Because you two are actually in relationships, so it makes more sense to pair up the single girl with the only other single person in our group."

Spencer who had been looking down at her hands shot her head up when Hanna mentioned to herself as single. "You and Caleb broke up?"

"His loss," Hanna said with a wave of her hand and a big smile on her face.

Emily and Aria once again quickly moved to hug their friend with words of comfort while Spencer remained frozen in her spot, her eyes scanning her friend's face for any sign of her true feelings and it didn't take long to find it.

Spencer noticed a look of pain in her friend's blue eyes when they finally connected but just as quick as she saw it, it disappeared and was hidden behind Hanna's wall, a wall she knew all too familiar herself. Maintaining the eye contact, she mouthed a quick 'I'm sorry' with an apologetic smile, earning a small nod in response from the blonde.

A few more minutes passed before the girls decided to call it a night. Emily, Aria and Hanna all got ready on the floor, readjusting their blankets and pillows as Spencer got up and turned off the light.

Retreating to her bed once more, she laid down hugging a pillow to her chest and waited for sleep to take over her mind.

As the minutes passed, Spencer knew that sleep was once again going to be hard to achieve so she slowly sat up and slipped from her bed. Being careful as to not wake her friends, she grabbed her laptop from her desk and quietly left her room to head downstairs.

Settling down on the couch, she opened her laptop and logged into her account. After checking her e-mails, she opened up her internet browser and started bookmarking colleges far away from Rosewood.

_Bing._

A small box popped up on the side of her screen indicating that she had received an instant message. _Who is up at this hour?_ She thought as she looked down at her watch to see that it was close to 3 in the morning.

Moving the cursor to the box, she clicked accept and instantly smiled at reading the user name on the message.

**BrainsOverBeauty22****_:_**_ Hey All-star :), I was hoping you would log on tonight. How was your day?_

Spencer quickly typed back in response.

**EternalMisery18****_:_**_ Hey, you know one of these nights you are going to have to explain the nickname All-star right? ;) _

**BrainsOverBeauty22:**_ One of these nights, sure..So you didn't answer my question, that bad?_

**EternalMisery18:** _Another rejection letter added to my ever-growing pile, I can hear the disappointment from my parents now. :( I really don't know what I'm going to do, no school wants me, not after they look at my records and read about my drug problem. _

**BrainsOverBeauty22:** _Past drug problem, they can't hold that against you and if they do, I'm sure your parents will just sue them. ;p _

**EternalMisery18:** _I'm sure they would try and win but even if they did, there is no way in hell I would go to that school. I want to do this on my own, without my parent's power or money getting involved for once. _

**BrainsOverBeauty22: **_And you wonder why I call you All-star. :)_

A huge smile lit up Spencer's face; she couldn't believe a complete stranger was making her feel this good about a crappy situation.

**EternalMisery18:** _How is it you always manage to put a smile on my face by just saying a few nice words?_

**BrainsOverBeauty22:** _Talent mostly. ;) Haha. But being serious, I'm just speaking the truth. I know we have only been talking a few months and we have never actually met, but I know from what you write that you are wicked smart, a great athlete, a great friend and super brave. In my book, that means all-star._

Suddenly, the smile on Spencer's face disappeared. Her eyes locked on the word from her mysterious friend.

**_Brave_**.

**EternalMisery18:** _I'm sorry. I have to go._

Without waiting for a reply, Spencer quickly logged off her messenger account and slammed her screen shut.

"I'm not brave at all. I'm a fucking coward." She whispered to herself as she placed her laptop onto the coffee table in front of her. "I can't even admit the truth to my family or friends but I can spill my guts to a complete stranger? How is that brave." She continued her whispered rant as she felt her eyes begin to water and a few tears escape down her cheek.

But the moment only lasted a few seconds.

"No," She said harshly, suddenly standing from the couch. "I am not going to cry over this, not anymore. I'm done feeling guilty." Using both hands to wipe her eyes, she started towards the stairs towards her room.

Quietly, she entered her room and slid back into her bed after checking to make sure her three best friends were still sleeping. Staring up at the ceiling and listening to the soft snoring from one of the girls, Spencer let her mind re-visit the last few messages from her cyber-friend and after a few minutes of thinking, she made a promise.

_Before the day ends, I will tell the girls the truth about me. _She thought, pausing for a moment when she heard movement from the floor. _I just hope it doesn't ruin our friendship._ Turning onto her side, she reached over for her spare pillow and hugged it to her chest as she closed her eyes, finally letting the long over-due sleep take over her body.


End file.
